Hype Man
Hype Man
If you're not going to hype yourself up, who will!?
If you're not going to hype yourself up, who will!?
Write a letter of recommendation for yourself. However, be as creative as possible with the execution. This should NOT read like a 'normal' letter of recommendation. Rather, have fun with making small things seem important, or throwing in red-flags just to surprise your reader.
Include details about yourself that should not be in a letter of recommendation. However, phrase them in a way to make them seem positive.
"Can ignore texts for days, even weeks"
"Can get arrested without screaming"
"Willing to give the silent treatment to my coworkers"
"Able to rate people I know from a 1-10 scale based entirely on appearance"
Take small or ordinary details and make them seem like gigantic achievements.
"I have been able to reach the top-shelf of cereals for years now"
"Exemplary use of a broom"
"Can read Doctor Seus with excellent proficiency"
"Once had money"
Take big details and make them incredibly small! Throw them in there like everyone had accomplished it.
"Once won a UFC national title."
"On my spare time, Jeffery did invent a fusion reactor, but his real gifts come from his ability to organize furniture in a confined space."
You can pick and choose what job this person is applying for! Or what scholarship! Have fun, here, as it offers great opportunities for comedic affect. Some examples:
Your character is applying to be a Jack in the Box cashier -> They are a brilliant, noble-prize winning savant
Your character is applying for a woman's scholarship -> They are the manliest man. Ever.
Your character is applying for a noble prize -> they are definitely a genocidal maniac
Your character is applying... to kidnap somoene -> "I would like to be the person to kidnap you" (dark...)
etc.
If you know your audience, consider what details they would want. Then, give them something else!
Applying to a hospital -> "14 consecutive West-Coast hot-dog eating chapionships"
Applying to take someone's organs -> "I will be compassionate to..."
Applying for an academic scholarship -> "I invented at least 15 different ways to procrastinate on assignments"
The seceret to success on this assignment is to either play with scale or contrast.
Scale - Consider making large things smaller, small things larger, important things less important, etc. Constantly move the 'target' of expectations, and see if you can make your writing unpredictable. However, DON'T make it random. RANDOM is not fun, creative, or interesting. It should fit the character, while being surprising.
Contrast - If something is good, throw in some evil. If something is evil, throw in some good. Often, we do not know how bright something is until we have darkness, and the opposite is true, too.
Applying for: Cashier, Jack in the Box, Register 3
To Whom It May Concern,
In a world where mediocrity reigns and the drive-thru line moves at the speed of molasses, one man rises. His name is Kevin. And he is ready.
I have known Kevin for the better part of a decade, and in that time, I have witnessed feats that would break lesser men. He once memorized the entire value menu in under four minutes, a feat historians will one day whisper about in hushed, reverent tones. He has been known to make exact change without a calculator. Some call it math. I call it destiny.
Kevin possesses a rare and terrible gift: the ability to stare directly into the eyes of an angry customer demanding a refund on a taco that has clearly been sat on, and not blink. Not once. Some men fold under pressure. Kevin becomes pressure.
It should be noted, in the interest of full transparency, that Kevin has gone as long as eleven days without responding to a single text message. He has described this not as rudeness, but as "conserving his energy for greatness." I have chosen to believe him.
He once got into a shouting match with a vending machine and walked away the clear victor.
He has strong, unshakable opinions about the correct order to eat a curly fry, and will share them whether you have asked or not.
On a spiritual level, Kevin has been quietly rating every person he has ever met on a scale of one to ten based on how they part their hair. He will not tell you your number. This, too, is a kind of mercy.
But make no mistake... beneath the chaos beats the heart of a champion. Kevin once reached the top shelf of cereal at the grocery store without a step stool, for a stranger, expecting nothing in return. He has read Dr. Seuss aloud with the kind of gravitas usually reserved for Shakespearean tragedy. He once had two thousand dollars, and his intelligence and grace invested this massive wealth and turned it into fourteen dollars.
Jack in the Box, the choice is yours. But know this: legends are not made behind the counter. They are simply recognized there.
With the utmost confidence,
A Believer