The Worst Poem Ever Written (On Purpose!)
The Worst Poem Ever Written (On Purpose!)
Because this is Creative Writing, not Good Writing
Because this is Creative Writing, not Good Writing
Write the worst poem ever. No, really. This is your chance to take every poetic instinct you have and do the exact opposite.
The goal? To create a poem so atrocious, so embarrassing, so painfully bad that it loops back around into being funny. But this isn't just chaos—it’s a way to understand what makes writing bad so we can learn what makes it great.
After writing your disasterpiece, you will rewrite it into something actually good.
Terrible form choices. Make the form clash with the subject.
A tragic divorce announcement written in Dr. Seuss-style rhyming couplets.
A love confession written in robotic instructions.
A "Don’t eat my lunch" note written in Shakespearean sonnet form.
An epic, emotional farewell to a lost sock, stretching over fourteen stanzas.
Clichés, clichés, clichés! Use as many tired phrases as possible. (Love is a rose, time heals all wounds, the night is dark and full of terrors.)
Painful rhymes. Bonus points if they don’t even really rhyme. (I walked outside, my arms felt cold, / The moon was bright, like liquid gold.)
Dramatic for no reason. Compare normal things to life-or-death struggles. (My coffee was cold, my soul was dying.)
Unnecessary big words. Throw in "ostentatious" and "lugubrious" where they absolutely don’t belong. (I eschewed thy presence, thou art most perfidious, oh Walmart greeter.)
Weird similes and metaphors. Make your comparisons make no sense. (His love was like a sideways tornado, whispering sandwiches into my ear.)
Emotional whiplash. Switch from tragedy to comedy to existential dread within a single stanza.
The poem must be intentionally bad.
The form should clash with the subject.
The poem should lean into clichés, terrible rhymes, and nonsense.
After writing it, you will rewrite it into a stronger poem.
The final reflection should consider what made the first one bad and how you improved it.
Read bad poetry for inspiration. Look at overly dramatic Tumblr poetry, bad Hallmark cards, or early teen poetry attempts.
Make it personal. The best bad poetry is over-the-top about small things (like a tragic poem about spilled soup).
Think about music lyrics that try too hard. We’ve all seen those songs where the metaphors make absolutely no sense.
Make yourself laugh. If your poem doesn’t make you cringe, cry, or cackle—make it worse.
William McGonagall’s poetry (historically terrible but ambitious)
Atlanta Nights (a purposely horrible novel written to expose vanity publishing)
Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (the peak of melodramatic bad writing)
"The Eye of Argon" (a legendary disaster of a fantasy story)
Oh, fairest maiden, my 335i,
I whisper thy name in the dead of night,
Tracing thy curves ‘neath the sodium glow,
The world may not love thee—but I do know.
Others mock, cry "M3 or bust!"
Blind fools, unworthy of thy thrust.
They see not thy soul, thy poise, thy grace,
Thy twin-scroll turbos, thy angelic face.
O, kidney grilles, wide in sultry delight,
O, steering feel, tight as a lover held right.
Thy leather embrace, firm ‘gainst my spine,
Thy shifter—so willing—so perfectly mine.
Shall I compare thee to lesser machines?
A WRX? A Mustang? Such vulgar fiends.
Nay, thou art precision, a German delight,
A balance of power, of speed, of flight.
And yet, my love, dost thou betray?
Thy gaskets wilt, thy water pump frays.
Thy oil—oh, how it burns!—a cruel test,
Yet I—foolish, devoted—love thee no less.
No road is lonely when gripped in thy clutch,
No turn unworthy, no redline too much.
I give thee my wallet, my youth, my name,
No woman could ever inspire the same.
And when at last my breath runs dry,
Bury me, love, in a 335i.