Kinch's Gate

Pavel Tretyak's Personal Buddhist Journal

Considering the importance of context when evaluating ideas, I thought it would be best to include a section on this website explaining my perspective on Buddhism and my practice. The goal is to ensure that (1) I know what my own ideas are and (2) my ideas can be taken within the context of my religious and philosophical view. This section, more than anything, is a Buddhist Journal and should be read as such. This is not a section dedicated to academic work, nor is this a section that should be cited without specific reference to the intended context: reflection.

I have named this section Kinch's Gate, in honor of the Kinch himself, Stephen Dedalus (from Ulysses). Stephen is often found on the cusp of numerous gates in his life, and his consistent attachments to history, his legacy, his family, his art, his sexuality, and more have always resonated with me at a deeply personal level. Beyond that, Buddhism (especially in the Lalitavistara) uses the imagery of the 'gate' to explain how different paths, decisions, and mindsets act as 1 of 108 gates to the Dharma and enlightenment. Thus, Kinch's Gate, a journal dedicated to exploring and sharing my views specifically associated with Buddhism.

To begin, let me explain my particular perspective on Buddhism. While I have been effectively a Buddhist for about 15 years at the time of writing this, I have been, admittedly, a ‘bad Buddhist.’ In other words, I have loosely held onto the beliefs of the Buddha without having clear understanding of the various elements that it would entail a the change of my behavior. I have, at my core, believed in detachment and kindness but my behavior during my 10s, 20s and my early 30s was driven by materialism, power, and a general sense of attachment to the system I was raised in.

At age 35, I began to take more seriously my Buddhist philosophies and teachings. Part of this need arose from my own need for contentment and happiness in my life, as I was struggling under financial debt while at the same time living a life of luxury. Some other personal matters crept in, most of which were associated with my attachment to the future, expectations, and material goods. Those attachments metastasized like a poison in my being and began to manifest as anger and resentment toward my wife, my sons, family members, work, debt, and even the material goods I wanted to acquire.

It was here, early May 2025, that I began to search inward more seriously. I half-heartedly identified as Buddhist until now, but I needed to get a clearer understanding of who I was and how I wish to identify myself; labels and language have power in framing our reality. ChatGPT has played a crucial role in this, as it helped me identify which direction of Buddhism to explore. Much like Christianity, so many divisions and sects exist that it can be hard to identify a sect or version of a practice that will align with the beliefs you wish to embody.

For example, there are numerous Zen practices in California, but there is also a Buddhist church in Guadalupe about 30 minutes from my home. There are numerous Buddhist locations in Santa Barbara, too, but of different origins from different regions, and I did not want to go to one of these practices, find myself in strong disagreement with some of their core beliefs, then become disillusioned with a faith and practice that could perfectly fit within the realm of what I found to be true.

After discussing many of these ideas and directions with ChatGPT, I narrowed down my scope of Buddhist belief to Soto Zen Buddhism and Plum Village Tradition Buddhism. From there, I researched core, central texts so that I may read and study source material; I am not ready to blindly trust a teacher and I do not know where I would even find one. For the summer, I would be in my ‘forest’ stage, researching and studying and learning about what direction my religious and spiritual practice would go.

Below, you will find numerous threads and pages dedicated to various sides and parts of my practice. As mentioned earlier, this is not something to be trusted blindly. Instead, I am merely sharing and documenting my own personal journey. 

Written July 8, 2025

Last Edited July 8, 2025